Our Understandings

It’s not that men change after some years of their marriage. I have seen some women changed as well. Change is a positive process, if we get prepared mentally about it. If we are not then it could be dangerous process in our relations. We should get rid of it as soon as possible. How?

Ever since human being evolution, this whole universe has also changed. It was something else what it was discovered by the scientists than it is now. When we ask our grandfather or grandmother, or any old person, they will absolutely agree with the change of the climate, of the universe. Same like that change, we change, and there’s nothing wrong in that. This would happen everywhere wherever we see, in all the families; everyone in a family is changing. When they grow, they love doing something different, because they are either bored doing the same thing for so many years or just would like something new to put new life into their lives. But never change your love, keep loving and caring. They way you give love and care can change, but its level shouldn’t come down.

Some people would change because they feel nothing is left in their life except to do things what they have been doping for so many past years. That is really bad for both men and women, feeling bored of their relationship. If one of a couple would change the other would just cry out why her partner changed. Nobody can answer this, but only her partner. Women’s respond to this is – men change. A little in women change which make men change, I would say. If your partner has changed, only he or she can tell why he or she has changed. Nobody can guess that, which I feel is not a guessing game.

Crying out is not the solution to this problem. If we all change and we see everyone crying on ground like hell would make this planet a real hell. We as humans understand who our partner is, but did we really know how our partner was 3-5 years back. We just know our partner now, we love them now. We live in present, never look at past what happened and why, what changed and why. After living under one roof we come to know better what other hidden qualities in our partner are. And what we loved in our partner in “present” then has changed today, because things have changed, times have changed.

Most women complain that men change after marriage. Men are so sweet in the beginning and would do their all efforts to keep their partner happy as ever. Once she is happy, and after marriage men would just change. Men would not even care to hug her, kiss her, and love her. Complaints shall ever be complaints, unless you try to figure out why he changed. If women never change, then they should give it a thought why do their partners change. A man requires change in all aspects, and if his partner understands this she shouldn’t complain about it. In fact she should adjust with him with this change, considering that make your relations consistent. It is said that communication is the key towards everything what we see and what we feel. If really a woman thinks that her partner has changed then why doesn’t she talk to him regarding this change? Ask and know why.

Have you changed?

I knew two best friends who used to study in my college with me. They were simply one of the best friends in the college. They could do anything for each other as we all know what a best friend can do. Their names were Manu and Kristine, one was Indian and the other from London, and both of them were studying communication as an international student.

It was their friendship day I remember, not the one which the world celebrates, but the one when these two friends became best friends.

Anyways, I remember when Manu called me up that she would like me to go with her to buy a gift for her friend. It was around 11 in the morning when she called me, and I was busy, but I confirmed her we will go at around 4 in the evening. I told her I will pick her up from my way to home. And she was just waiting for me. We went to pacific mall in Markham, which was just close by. Roaming here and there, Manu chose an antique anklet for her friend, which at that time cost her $90. She was so excited about it, I couldn’t even imagine. I could see the vibrant glow in her face. She called up Kristine to meet her at a restaurant at 8 PM, but she denied for some reason. And all vibrant faded away, I felt. And then nothing was left for her, except to drop her home, which I did at 6 PM.

It was the next morning, our college, and we both were waiting for Kristine in the cafeteria. She came in as she would everyday, greeted me and tried to hug Manu. And angrily Manu said that how could she forget their friendship day. And I knew how Kristine was, she wouldn’t accept this kind of nature from Manu, and it was the time to breakup their friendship. And it did.

We see this everyday in our life. Someone is breaking with someone, without any string reason. Was Manu wrong? Was Kristine right? We have so many words to explain who was right and who was wrong. Instead I think I should focus more on the base, understanding relations.

I am not that good in memory; I tend to forget things, dates, anything, not very well. I used to forget our friendship day every year. My best friend is a girl, and it is said that girls are very sentimental about dates. I forgot our friendship day many times, but my best friend never uttered a word on me. If girls are sentimental about dates and if they would be mad as hell, then Manu and Kristine were also two girls. Why was Manu sentimental and Kristine not? That means it is not true for women. One factor only, understanding the relations. Why won’t my best friend make a hell out of this kind of situation when I forget our friendship day, it is because she understands the concept of understanding. It is a process to know each other, and after spending so much of time if we haven’t known each other a lot, then it is a waste of time developing that relationship.

Though it is about care, but should we forget “understanding” process also? I would think of my best friend how simple she is in dealing relations. She would care for me though, and I should also show care from my side. Life is too busy now, we don’t remember what happened on which dates. Because we can’t remember so many dates of our friend’s birthday, their anniversaries, their special made days, etc. In today’s world we have so many options to remember the dates of my loved ones, my relatives, using the internet. Add their birth dates, anniversary dates, or any other special recurring events. I have never remembered any special dates of my relatives, but I am using my yahoo mail to remind me.

It is very important to show others that we do care of them, for they expect us to. And if they expect us to, then definitely we should try to find out the solution. Relationship never ends, only thing you need is “understanding” to keep your relationship healthy.

Is it important for all of us to have a small motivation? Or is it important all of us to be happy? Who decides this? Is it me or you? We never think of motivation as the first factor, instead look upon the happiness it can provide us. Though the happiness is the most important factor in our lives, all of us desire to be happy, and live a prosperous life. Have we ever thought about what is needed for this happiness?

We have heard people saying motivation is the key towards success. But why motivation is the key towards only success, and not happiness? We could replace motivation with happiness, just because of its importance in our lives. If a poor chap receives a lot of money, obviously he will be very happy. Here I wouldn’t mean that money comes first then happiness. We, in today’s world, have decided altogether that money has its most importance than anything else. We see people break their relations, hate their relations. Isn’t that supposed to our motivation? Has it been eliminated from our lives?

We think of just ourselves when it comes to money in between relations. It used to be relations first, then money. The weight age of money is heavy in today’s world on humans now. And why it shouldn't’t be? We all are working for money, aren’t we? But what about the relations, and so called relationships, have they disappeared?


“I give priority to my relations first. “ I told my brother, and agreeing he said, “Yes, definitely we should. Because life is moving way fast, but if we look back to our ancestors, they were also living in the same world as we are. They used to work, play and live happily as well. What’s changed now?”

“It is relations. It has changed; our perspective of this word has changed. We also work, also play and also live happily, but in a different fashion. We do not want anyone to involve in our life.”
My brother replied that, “Yes, but what can we do in this society, as it has changed. Even if we do not want to be changed, we have to. And it would be also true to me that if someone asks me to use the time machine and go back during those golden days, I wouldn’t. Because I am living in today’s world, I have learnt what people have taught me in this age."

It was a drastic change in the age of the time when people started ignoring each other, not even recognizing our own relations, be it father, mother, brother or sister. One of us stands in a family, and starts earning good. And in the next picture is his own brother who doesn’t want him to earn that much. Is he his own brother? I don’t believe. Do you?

My father tells me that we should have our dinner, at least, together. So we get to know each other more. So we get to know what’s happening in our lives, we should share our views and opinions. And how many of us run away with this tradition! It feels shame for the family who lives together, as if each one of them is paying each other to live together. I wonder how these families would be called “a family”.

No matter what relation you have, you need sincerity and genuineness in it. We hide ourselves from these words, because if we show our face these will smack us straight to our heart. You and me, have a relation, you have to understand this.

Let’s try this. Go home and watch yourself in a mirror.

Looking for happiness?

IT IS THERE, HAVE A LOOK.

Its been quite a long time since blogs are here on the web world. But I never had my own blog, but of course learned a lot during this time about blogging. As I write my very first post on this blog, my wife is standing aside me giggling what am I doing now. I have been thinking this to do since long time.

My wife, Komal, does not know what a blog is. When I told her about this, she said it is just
wastage of time, instead I should buy a diary from a shop and start writing in. Though I used to have that, as she knows about it. Me and my wife shares a relationship full of understanding relationship. It's been 15 months since our wedding, I don't remember a day when we had any kind of argument. Based on this I have started this blog for those folks who thinks their partners dominate them.

Relationship word is very easy to pronounce, but hard to understand its real meaning. I wish your stay on my blog will help and give you a feel of support to understand your partners, or other relations. If a little improvement in your relations grows, I would request you to thank God, because its him who does everything, and that too according to your karma.

Thanks